


Proud

by Aces_and_Roses



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecurity, i know how these tags look but the ending is sweet i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25207645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aces_and_Roses/pseuds/Aces_and_Roses
Summary: Sasha hadn’t meant to do it. Of course she hadn’t; who would mean to break the support for a shelf holding up that many extremely expensive, extremely breakable things, thereby causing the shelf to collapse and shatter every single one of said expensive, breakable things? To shatter thousands of gold into millions of tiny pieces scattered across the floor.
Relationships: Bi Ming Gusset & Sasha Racket
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Proud

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: "You make me proud, every day." with Bi Ming and Sasha  
> Apologies if Bi Ming sounds off, I've never really written him before

Sasha hadn’t meant to do it. Of course she hadn’t; who would  _ mean _ to break the support for a shelf holding up that many extremely expensive, extremely breakable things, thereby causing the shelf to collapse and shatter every single one of said expensive, breakable things? To shatter thousands of gold into millions of tiny pieces scattered across the floor.

It didn’t even really bother her that she’d broken those things specifically; sure, they were expensive, but they were just the showpieces; the props, as Bi Ming called them. He didn’t care about them, not really. No, what bothered her was more to do with the principle of the thing.

She’d gotten startled, that was the problem. After so long spent sequestered away in that mansion, she’d gotten accustomed to the quiet. Now, when there was a sudden loud noise, or when Bi Ming called to her unexpectedly, she jumped, and she hated it.

( _ “It is unbecoming of a lady to be so aware all the time, dear,” Eldarion said, her voice saccharine and sharp. “It makes one look like she’s suspicious, and that simply won’t do.” _ )

She’d made too much noise, that was the problem. The sound of breaking porcelain had been nearly deafening. It drew attention to her, people passing by the shop on the street turning to stare. She didn’t want the attention, she wanted to blend into the background, anonymous and unseen.

( _ “Making that much noise will get you caught, Sasha,” Barret said, kind and cutting. “And I assure you, they’ll do much worse than I, if they do.” _ )

She’d made a mistake, that was the problem. She couldn’t afford to make mistakes, Mistakes were-

( _ “Unacceptable,” Eldarion snapped, after Sasha’s uncomfortable shifting had caused the books stacked on her head to topple to the floor. _ )

( _ “Unacceptable,” Barret snapped, after Sasha returned home, bruised and burned and empty-handed. _ )

-unacceptable. Dangerous. Lethal.

Bi Ming would be disappointed, that was the problem. After all, if she couldn’t even be trusted with the showpieces, how could she ever be trusted with anything important? And if she couldn’t be trusted with the important stuff, what was even the point of him employing her? It had been somewhat of a miracle that Barret let her work with Bi Ming in the first place; if Bi Ming decided he didn’t want her to work for him anymore, there was no chance Barret would ever let her work this far away again. He’d make her come back to Other London, keep her there. She’d be trapped, even more than she already is.

( _ “Why would you ever want to leave?” Barret asked, with a smile like shards of broken glass, and Sasha knew better than to answer. _ )

She doesn’t know what to do now, that’s the problem. Her every instinct is screaming to run, to hide, and yet she stands paralyzed, staring at the shattered porcelain.

(The shattered remnants of her freedom.)

(She wants to run, but she doesn’t. She wants to hide, but she doesn’t.)

She wants to stay, that’s the problem. She doesn’t want to have to run from Bi Ming. She doesn’t want him to send her back to Other London. He’s kind to her, kinder than anyone has ever been before, and she wants to stay.

She’s still standing there, frozen, when he finally comes into the front room to investigate the noise. He passes by the mess on the floor without a second glance, instead moving to stand next to where Sasha is sitting - she doesn’t remember sitting down, when had she- - with her back against the wall.

“You alright, there, Sasha? None of that hit you, did it?” he asks, his tone sincere, full of nothing but concern.

She shakes her head, mutely, though honestly she can’t remember either way. She wants to tell him she’s sorry, she wants to ask for his forgiveness, she wants to beg him not to send her back to Barret, but she can’t. She can’t say any of it; she doesn’t have the words, and even if she did, she wouldn’t be able to put them together in a way that makes any sense to anyone but her.

But she doesn’t need to, because Bi Ming understands. He always has, the two of them so different in some respects, but so similar in others, and always, always on the same wavelength when they need to be. So she sits silently, arms wrapped around her knees, eyes fixed on the floor. So she braces for the rejection, the pain, even though she knows, deep down, that it won’t come. So she does her best to ignore the voices in her head that sound like Barret, that sound like Eldarion, that sound like hatred and disappointment and anger.

Bi Ming holds his arms out, and Sasha tips forward, letting him wrap them around her neck, a hug more safe and secure than any she’s received from her actual family. She buries her face in his shoulder, and lets out the breath she’s been holding since the shelf collapsed, and relaxes into it.

“I’m not disappointed in you, Sasha. I could never be. I- I- I’m proud. You make me proud, every day. Every single day.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at redactedquill if yall want to shoot me a prompt!


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